Today, my mother said to me, "You weren't always like this," referring to how unsatisfied I am with just about everything I do, and cynical to the point of being a killjoy at times.
It got me to think about how I got here.
Because she's right.
I wasn't always like "this."
My response was, "It's the people that have screwed me over... actually, it's because I lost faith in humanity."
She didn't like that.
Sometimes, I miss my optimistic view on life I had with a Capri-Sun and PB&J lunch or the occasional Lunchables package.
But then I'm brought back to the present where I work at a shitty retail job for just over minimum wage, on an island that would charge you to breathe if they could. I have several thousand dollars in loans to pay back in about a year, no idea what I'm going to "be" when I "grow up" and living in a nation where the economy is spiraling down the toilet of western civilization.
I wonder if this is growing up.
Or if it's growing up to be a cynical old hag.
9 years ago