Dear Ms. Leading,

I regret to inform you I've fallen out of lust.
It must be so hard to understand.
Did you really think me a fool enough to play along?
And make believing everything you said was true
Push your pouting lips on other unsuspecting lovers

The Dear Hunter


"And I don't really give a damn about falling in love."

I think the title of this post says it all.

I've been finding joy in other things.
Colorful wayfarer sunglasses.
Driving with the windows down.
Hayley Williams.

The last thing, that has only developed recently, is children.

My dad's cousin (my first cousin once removed?) has a son named Ranger.
He's the best little two year old boy I have ever met.
I fell in love with him within the first five minutes I spent with him at a family party.
It's only then did I even consider bearing children in my future.
I have the hips for it anyway.

Tradition has etched, "Fall in love. Get married (or not). Have kids," into my psyche.

I don't give a shit about romantic love. I haven't really since high school. It's been more of an inconvenience in my experience anyway. It's gotten in my way too many times. Besides, that shit fades. You're constantly changing. And so is the person you love. So I shit on romantic love.
Fuckin' buuuull-shit.
The only love that I believe that's long lasting is the love a mother and child have.
The way Ranger looked at his mother and the way she looked at him... I think I'm beginning to understand.

Maybe this is all just my biological clock ticking.
Ugh. I think I've gone soft.


pierce said...

you tell me love is dead but i know it ain't.

Emily Harding said...

yeah, yeah.
i know...