Dear Ms. Leading,

I regret to inform you I've fallen out of lust.
It must be so hard to understand.
Did you really think me a fool enough to play along?
And make believing everything you said was true
Push your pouting lips on other unsuspecting lovers

Love,
The Dear Hunter

4.27.2009

"Things suck. But they won't always suck."

As I sit in a terribly hot computer lab on campus, bullshitting around on the internet and listening to math rock, I realize that everything is going to be okay.

This wave of strange optimism is taking over my thought process and I'm completely surrendering to it.

Never mind that I'm currently being dishonest about something.
Never mind that things could be better.

The Fall of Troy "Act One, Scene One" is in my ears and I couldn't be more content.

Well, maybe if this lab were actually air conditioned and it wasn't over 80 degrees in April I'd be smiling instead of sweating, trying not to sweat.

A french man spent some time with me on Friday night at the bar and then politely walked me home at three in the morning. His name was Tomas. I chain smoked and talked about my feelings about a boy I like. But the boy I like doesn't like me. He likes drugs.

That's all I'm going to type about for now.
Thinking about this... I just got terribly sad all over again.

"So it goes."
So. It. Goes.

4.19.2009

For my creative writing class, we are assigned to write a ten line poem that is formatted like a pyramid.

Since I'm feeling infuriated right now, I can't exactly concentrate on writing the poem on "change."

So here's a different one.

You.
Fuck off.
I hate you.
I did like you.
I gave you another chance.
Thinking about this makes me squirm.
Your problem was never mine to solve.
So spend your days running away from reality.
Did everything I could in a situation like this.
The worst part's that you do know what you did.

4.08.2009

Still in love or still bitter that he didn't love me back?



Oh the agony...

4.01.2009

"Hold me close 'cause I need you to guide me to safety."

Am I a terrible person for judging people based on how they look?
I hope not.
Because I judge appearances quite often.

I like to sit here, in front of this window in one of my school's computer labs because I get to watch students walk by. They walk by with smiles on their faces, wearing stupid Ugg boots with shorts, mismatching patterns and looking like complete fools.

They have no idea I'm watching and judging.
I like that.
Creeper of the day.

I shouldn't base my opinions of people on what they wear and how they look.
But I feel more at ease these days because I know that most people do this.
It's not just me. I just say the things everyone is thinking.

I sometimes wonder if the students on this campus realize that there is more to life than this little bubble we live in. We are so closed off from reality on this campus that it becomes difficult to keep up with the outside world. When everyone around you is more concerned with who cheated on whom* and which kid Britney dropped on their head today, reality is distorted. Life isn't as it is outside the perimeter of this campus. I live across the street from my campus and I already feel more connected to the world than I have felt my whole college career. It's strange what the separation of one street can do.

Why am I writing? I'm avoiding finishing my internship application.
Self sabotage at its finest. I'm going nowhere in life.
Just "hangin' and bangin'."


*"HE = WHO & HIM = WHOM." ...what?