Dear Ms. Leading,

I regret to inform you I've fallen out of lust.
It must be so hard to understand.
Did you really think me a fool enough to play along?
And make believing everything you said was true
Push your pouting lips on other unsuspecting lovers

The Dear Hunter


In an attempt to be candid, I will now recount a customer incident that took place at work this past Friday, the 13th.

A woman, aged about 50 some odd years and a bit top heavy, was yelping in pain as I approached the front of the discount store from the back, where I was reducing discounted prices from 40% to about 50% off. As I looked at the setting and my eyes adjusted to the sunlight pouring in from the front doors, I realized that this woman scraped her leg on one of the display shelves, closest to the floor. One of the corners was considerably sharp and probably should have been covered with a plastic casing especially made for these types of situations.

As I was asked to put the plastic on the corner a minute too late by the manager, the customer pointed out that if we had taken this precaution before, she wouldn't be in pain at the moment... and oh how it burned. Oh God, she couldn't believe how much it burned. Look, it was bleeding! It sliced right into her and it wouldn't stop BURRRRNING.

I looked up from my struggle with the L-shaped piece of plastic and my eyes rested on her right leg, just above her ankle. It looked like a paper cut canal filling with blood. It dripped a bit, but not enough for her to be justified in the way she was sucking air through her teeth and saying, "Ahhhhh!"

I forced myself to look at the sharp, dangerous corner again and continue with my struggle as I felt the corners of my mouth start to curl into a smile. You've got to be kidding me, lady.

My boss returned from the office, a band-aid and antiseptic in her latex gloved hands.
"You really don't have to do that," the over dramatic, middle aged, starved for attention customer said.
"No, but it's really alright. Just let me help you."

Boss lady sprayed the big baby with antiseptic and big baby howled in pain.


The customers on line at the register turned and stared at the screaming 50 year old with a paper cut.
Shuffling behind my co-worker at the register, I muffled a laugh with a forced cough.

I had already punched out. I wanted to leave and tell everyone about this customer that was obviously deprived of attention for at least several months before this incident. But, I waited until my boss was done bandaging the fool with a scrape on her leg and asked her if she needed anything else before I left. She sighed and told me to have a good day.

On my way out, I heard the big baby fool's voice say, "I just can not believe how much that cut hurt..." and I thought, "I just can not believe how much of a fucking cunt that woman was. I hope she doesn't sue."

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