This is the first time that I have ever looked at people who engage in recreational drug use and felt like I was missing out on something. Why can't I be brave enough to let go of the kung-fu grip I have on my life and just smoke a bowl with other kids my age who have no idea what my name is but like the fact that I speak with a Long Island accent?

I am a 21 year old hiding in alcoholism and judging the rest of the world as they smoke and snort and shoot up.

And I want to be just like them.