Dear Ms. Leading,

I regret to inform you I've fallen out of lust.
It must be so hard to understand.
Did you really think me a fool enough to play along?
And make believing everything you said was true
Push your pouting lips on other unsuspecting lovers

The Dear Hunter


"Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride"

If you know me well, then you might want to skip over this post.
You've already heard my rant about this one.

I've had plenty of "suitors" over the last four years.
They all had excuses for me.
So if you happen to have one, I've heard it all.

Scenario 1:
"It's the distance."
(He lived in Brooklyn. He's now dating a foreign exchange student from Japan.)

Scenario 2:
"I'm gay."
(He lied.)

Scenario 3:
"I wish things were different & that I met you sooner. I'm already in love with my girlfriend & I can't leave her."
(He stayed with his girlfriend for another two weeks and then was on to the next.)

Scenario 4:
"There's someone else."
(I've heard this one a good number of times.)

Scenario 5:
"I'm not ready for a relationship."
(Facebook notice: *blank* is now in a relationship. Oh.)

Scenario 6:
"It's okay. We don't have to have sex. I'll take you home."
(He never spoke to me again. And then told his friends that I was the one who asked him to have sex in his car.)


Scenario 7:
" . . . "

If you are wondering why I haven't had a boyfriend, here are the reasons why, according to a boy from Jersey. (Yes this was actually sent to me. The grammar is not my fault.)

"I mean you wonder why a you NEVER had a bf, not knowing much about you I can give you quick examples why,
you fuck on the first night, which gives us nothing to aim for the next time
your still in the phase of omg lets get drunk every night, really not attractive, unless your into one night stands, which you clearly are
your fat .. well not totally just somewhat but guys are shallow pricks
you constantly need attention, I mean your not a fuckin puppy, your 22years old, its ashame the only way you get attention is to spread your legs."

Yeah. I cried about that for days after the fact. And I now have a self-image complex and can't see myself as anything but fat.

Not all of these guys were bad guys. In fact, most of them were really good guys.
Good guys that held my hand and looked into my eyes and told me I was beautiful.

Don't hold my hand. Don't kiss my forehead. Don't take me home to meet your parents. Don't look into my eyes and tell me I'm beautiful.
Because I don't fall for that shit anymore.
In a way, I wish I did.

When will the bullshit end?
Actually, the real question is, WILL the bullshit end?

Sorry for the pity party.
I just felt the need.
Now I must drive an angry 2.5 hours upstate.

1 comment:

Nikki said...

Point me in the direction of this fucker from Jersey. I will rip his nuts off with my fucking teeth and tie him to a chair while I fry 'em up with pig shit. Then I'm gonna feed them to him at the end of a hot poker while I read off a list of reasons as to why he's a shitty person.

1) You apparently know jack shit about Canty if you're going to say all this about her.

2) You're from fucking Jersey. This automatically makes you lose 20 cool points.

3) When you refer to your fellow men as "shallow pricks," please don't think you're excluded from this group. You are ALSO a shallow prick. That is unbearably unattractive.

People like that make me thirst for blood. Fucking THIRST for it.