I still had a left over xaney bar from a friend so I took that to get some sleep last night.
Too bad I slept through the whole day because of it.
Empty. Cold. Uninterested.
Just... don't care.
It feels quite terrible to be up this late (or early?) and just not give a shit about anything.
It's depressing and lonely.
Do I have seasonal affect disorder?
I periodically pull away from people and hibernate this time of year and start to become difficult to be around.
At least there is someone in my life that doesn't know what I was like before.
And I don't have to tell them about it if I don't want to.
They'll spend 84 minutes on the phone with me and say that they miss me.
I can feel good for 84 minutes.
Sometimes, when I am awake at 4am, I hope that someone is also awake and thinking the same things... it makes me feel less alone.