Dear Ms. Leading,

I regret to inform you I've fallen out of lust.
It must be so hard to understand.
Did you really think me a fool enough to play along?
And make believing everything you said was true
Push your pouting lips on other unsuspecting lovers

The Dear Hunter


Fruit Punch Juicy Juice

It's November and although the view from my apartment is beautiful, I am uninspired and, of course, anxious.
I still had a left over xaney bar from a friend so I took that to get some sleep last night.
Too bad I slept through the whole day because of it.

Empty. Cold. Uninterested.
Just... don't care.

It feels quite terrible to be up this late (or early?) and just not give a shit about anything.
It's depressing and lonely.
Do I have seasonal affect disorder?
I periodically pull away from people and hibernate this time of year and start to become difficult to be around.

At least there is someone in my life that doesn't know what I was like before.
And I don't have to tell them about it if I don't want to.
They'll spend 84 minutes on the phone with me and say that they miss me.
I can feel good for 84 minutes.

Sometimes, when I am awake at 4am, I hope that someone is also awake and thinking the same things... it makes me feel less alone.


Caitlin said...

I miss you.
I want to give you a big hug every day. It's true!

The Kid said...

Wow i really like your blog. You should make it into a book.