Dear Ms. Leading,

I regret to inform you I've fallen out of lust.
It must be so hard to understand.
Did you really think me a fool enough to play along?
And make believing everything you said was true
Push your pouting lips on other unsuspecting lovers

The Dear Hunter


"It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, Because my dreams are bursting at the seams"

I just want a sense of normalcy.
And this goddamn anxiety to stop.
It makes me feel like an insecure teenager again.

I'm scared to actually talk about how bad it gets- about how hard it is for me to convince myself to go outside some days.

But I'm more scared of how bad it got last year.
Where do you find the courage to do swallow up your pride and ask for help?
Usually I find it in my friends.
I can't always though.
Especially lately.
This blog is really the only time I "talk" about how I've felt in the past several months, mostly because I feel I don't have a best friend anymore.

Fuck this.
I might erase this post soon enough anyway.
Something's telling me that these feelings need to stay internalized.

Someone to hold my hand would be nice right about now.

Hope I can convince myself to get out of myself's way today...

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