Moving Mountains

Despite my self-awareness, I let myself slip deeper into the darkest crevices of my mind.
The kinds of corners that will swallow you whole if you're not careful.
The kinds of darkness that CPR might not drag you out of.

I know I'm falling.
I know when it started and I know what might save me.
The thing is- I don't think I truly want to be saved from this.
I like who I've become.
Maybe it's just stubbornness.
Or determination to not abandon everything I stand for like I have so many times before this.
My concentration has left me and my concept of time is fucked for good.
I let everything rush passed me. And I don't care. Things are too fast-paced for the state I'm in anyway.

Gossip Girl is on soon.
Bye.

Whatever you'd like...

When I speak, others hear nonsense.
It all sounds logical to me.


There's something to be said about alcoholic writers that hate the world.

And that something is that they are right about everything.
Every goddamn thing.
Alcohol is not an emotional crutch- it is for survival in this terrible world full of drugged up, selfish, money grubbing zombies.


Sounds like someone is being fucked.
I wish I were drunkenly passed out or just dead asleep. This is terrible.

Oh the power of an anonymous note.


I suppose the ruckus it caused really just adds to my life of mess and unfortunate coincidences- you know, like that Lemony Snicket series, just more coincidental.


My life can be summed up with a sarcastic shrug and "whoops."


I feel a post about how unfortunate my coincidences actually are coming on very soon...

I remember sanity.

Nope.
This is not it.

Slip, slip, slip.
Losing grip, losing grip...

War all the time.

I am becoming aware of the amount of people my age suffering from anxiety disorders and panic attacks.

At least half of my friends are on some sort of medication, whether it be an antidepressant or anti-anxiety shit.

What has happened in this world that 20 year olds are being drugged up just to get through the day?


It wasn't always like this.
This age group wasn't always the anxious, unhappy bunch that I am a part of now.
When did it change?

Ever judged someone before you knew them?
Ever watch the way they walk with their head down with their stupid haircut and unnatural dye job and shudder as their voice sinks through the air like a paper plane made by a blind kid?
Ever hated someone just because they took the person you wanted?
Ever find out that this person has a past worse than your sorry ass?



My foot is now jammed so far into my mouth that my teeth are leaving little bead indentations on my ankle, making a nice, ironic, self-loathing anklet.
A good example of what blindly hating can eventually do to your pride.

Where has humility gone?