Dear Ms. Leading,

I regret to inform you I've fallen out of lust.
It must be so hard to understand.
Did you really think me a fool enough to play along?
And make believing everything you said was true
Push your pouting lips on other unsuspecting lovers

The Dear Hunter


Jealousy always finds its way back into the forefront of my daily activities.
It pushes my normal, chipper demeanor down a few flights of stairs and presses down on my torso- hard. So hard it becomes difficult to breathe.

When I experience jealousy, it's not a simple feeling that's here and gone in a matter of "let me count my blessings." I experience anger, depression and anxiety because of it.
Dice those all up into a fine minced emotion mix and you have the main event.
The Shit Show of My Life.
Where anxiety attacks are the star and two-timing, indecisive, manipulative boy-men continuously drive me to the point of wanting to stab bitches and take a cheese grater to their clitorises.

There. That feels better.
Now for the depression that will soon turn into anxiety which will somehow constrict my breathing.

I believe this is why Jealousy is called "The Green-eyed Monster" and not "Fluffy Baby Bunnies."


Kree Eights said...

I would imagine that anger, depression and anxiety are diced up it would create more of a salad-type deal instead of a shit show. Maybe a shitty salad, but a salad nonetheless.

taking a cheese grater to clitorises would probably make a nice topping for such a salad. You know, if we're not using typical salad ingredients anyway, might as well, eh? And those Fluffy Baby Bunnies were also probably used for such salads, so when the time came for people to coin a term to describe jealousy, only green eyed monsters were left.

hey, don't look at me. you asked for people to read and leave comments. And if you don't know who I am, I'll give you a hint: I'm not Jon Oswalt.

Will said...

CLIT GRATER sounds like a good name for a grindcore band. That is probably one of the most brutal things I've ever heard. And I listen to Devourment. That's pretty damn impressive.

I was gonna leave a "WHOA WHO WAS THAT" comment, but then I realized that my username is my... name.

DJ said...

well well... look who has a blog...


there's some spam for it!