Dear Ms. Leading,

I regret to inform you I've fallen out of lust.
It must be so hard to understand.
Did you really think me a fool enough to play along?
And make believing everything you said was true
Push your pouting lips on other unsuspecting lovers

The Dear Hunter


"She's got herself a universe gone quickly, for the call of thunder threatens everyone"

As I filled out more work applications in the library, a guy I had met the night before at a campus program came up to me to say "hello."
I admitted that I had a crush on one of his male friends and he revealed that he had a crush on the same friend.

He started talking about the video "Sassy Gay Friend" and volunteered to be mine.

This turned into a discussion about Shakespeare and Romeo & Juliet and how terribly horrible their "love" really was.

Our whispers became exclamations as we spoke about teenagers and their need to be defiant. The "star-crossed lovers" found a commonality in their awful, privileged lives and lusted after one another. But woe is them, they couldn't have each other.
With melodrama dripping from the teens' pathetic words and promises, death is obviously the option.

We laughed a lot about repressed gay men in almost everyone of Shakespeare's plays, and even talked about how love is perceived to everyone. Every person has a different perception of reality, so their perception and definition of love is relative.

I mentioned how I believe that no relationship can truly be emotionally balanced because of this. Someone will always love harder. The only way to come close to a balanced and equal relationship is to compromise.

Strangely enough, later that night I attended a Sex Ed program sponsored by my campus' Black Student Union. A sex therapist spoke about the specific kinds of love (eros, agape, storge) and how everyone's view of lust, love, intimacy and romance are different.

I'm not sure why, but it all struck an emotional chord buried deep and I tried to not cry. It might've been because I started thinking about how much I love someone and how I feel I'll never be rid of the lingering "what if"s about our up, down & sideways relationship.

From this view point, I'm hoping to wake up one day when a sassy gay friend says, "You are a stupid bitch,"


pierce said...

If you will die for me,
I will die for you
and our graves will be like two lovers washing
their clothes together
in a laundromat
If you will bring the soap
I will bring the bleach.

- Richard Brautigan's "Romeo and Juliet"

Rob said...

who was the repressed gay in romeo & juliet?

Tya said...

really great post... :)

Emily Harding said...

mercutio. definitely.